How Can You Heartbreak A Stranger?

Those of you who know me well, know how much I love to find random photos, ATM receipts, notes, grocery lists... So you'll be happy to know my cell phone struck gold for me over the weekend.

If there is a moral to the story you're about to read, it's don't drink and text message. Especially when the message you plan to send is pathetic, groveling, and bares your soul as a stained, hole infested pair of tighty-whities.

At 3 a.m. on Friday night (Saturday morning actually), I got a message on my cell phone. It was a text message. When I read it at 3 a.m. this was all I read:

The pain you cause me is really unfair and unnecessary.

Then when I looked at it again the next day, I found a bonus. There was more! I just hadn't scrolled down.

The pain you cause me is really unfair and unnecessary. Why do I tolerate you? I know... I know... Because I love you. But this is ridiculous. Good night.

An FBI profiler I ain't, but I judge the messenger to be a 23 year old white male who assumed his recipient was a 22 year old white female. Little did he know his message was actually sent to a 33 year-old white male. If I was a bolder person I would have called the phantom text messenger back, but I'm not going to do that. So I guess he/she will have to wonder why his/her boy/girlfriend never replied to his/her pathetic 3 a.m. text message.

My cell phone: a modern day dead letter office.